The Feature

The Apathetic Investor - A personal journey!

April 29,2000

I grew up in Addis in a middle class family. Like most Ethiopians in my situation, I had grand dreams of going abroad for higher education, then returning home to a decent job to build my country. That was almost 20 years ago and I’m still here in the US wondering what happened to the dream? Why didn’t it happen?

Of course the immediate answer that comes to mind is “well, you know the situation back home…” and on & on. Of course - that explains why my dream never materialized. After all, political turmoil and instability just was never part of my childhood dreams. I did my part and got my education, didn’t I? My dream would not have materialized anyway. But why is there always a part of me that is uneasy about accepting that as the full, unambiguous answer? I’m convinced that if I had returned, I would have just been another government bureaucrat that couldn’t make ends meat, let alone make a difference. In fact, I know several people who did return. Some of them regret it and some don’t. But really, the issue is not so much whether they made/make a difference but rather that they followed their hearts and dreams in spite of the political/economic situation that was awaiting them. Is the satisfaction of the dream just in the success of it or in the process? Hmmm…Reminds me of a quote from Theodore Roosevelt “It is hard to fail but it is worse never to have tried”.

1994

I returned home for vacation, excited that I was finally able to go to Ethiopia after 10 years. Besides visiting family & friends and doing some sightseeing, I was eager to look into business/investment opportunities. I no longer had the dream of returning to a decent job - that was a child’s dream and I was older, wiser and (perhaps unfortunately) more cynical too! Let’s face it - there is such high level of unemployment in Addis that my conscience would not allow me to compete for a job there even if it were a great job! I told myself that the only way I would return is if I could take some capital and start a business thereby creating jobs for myself and others!

I realized very quickly that a few trips to the Investment Office, Chamber of Commerce, etc. during my 6-week vacation would not yield any tangible results. It’s not as if you could walk in and pick up an up-to-date brochure outlining policies & procedures. I was astonished not only at the dearth of information but also at how outdated much of the material was. Then again, there is such a thing called bureaucracy. But I soon recovered my optimism even after the realization that I would need much more capital than I had anticipated. I returned with several magazines & trade publications determined to do my homework by (1) planning & saving for future investment in Ethiopia and (2) researching and preparing a business plan.

1998

4 years later I prepared for another short trip home. I hadn’t even read the material I brought last time let alone preparing any funds for investment. It was embarrassing for myself not to have followed through on my plans, which was quite out of character for me. It almost seems like a mental block, an invisible chain of some sort holding me back from doing what I really wanted to do. I had accumulated all these financial obligations here (US) including a mortgage, which reduced my capacity to save. And then there was the lack of time…

When I arrived and found out that some people who had taken the plunge were doing quite well, I was ready to kick myself for having missed the golden opportunity to start something before the market got saturated. I got excited again thinking it was not too late and had conversations with my brother about joint ventures we could undertake. So I started all over again, gathering what new information there was, talking to people, trying to assess the situation. I wondered if the bureaucracy was becoming worse or I was becoming more cynical? Perhaps a little of both. Once again, 4 weeks was not even close to enough for such a long & tedious process. If only I didn’t have all those financial obligations back in the US, I would have quit my job & returned for an extended period of time to look into things more closely!

2000

I just got back from another trip home. Let’s just say it was a re-run of my last trip! Of course, I had to go through the ritual of contacting people, government offices, etc. - it’s a habit I can’t seem to break. A dream I can’t seem to let go off but nonetheless one that I obviously don’t pursue wholeheartedly. My excuse: mainly the distractions of my life here. The real reason: the conscious or unconscious choices I’ve made to give a higher priority to my life here. After all, not taking the necessary steps towards a goal is in itself a decision against that goal. The dilemma: a heart torn apart between wanting to build a something here & wanting to follow my childhood dream. I’ve come to the realization that one has to be single-minded if one really wants to pursue one’s dreams. With each passing year I’m less sure that I will ever return home! But I still want to invest in my country sometime, somewhere…

So in the meantime, I discover this really cool incredible thing called the Internet. I’m excited about the potential for bringing resources together. An opportunity to do some research and write articles for an webzine presents itself. Great! A way to vicariously fulfill my dreams. Perhaps my way of giving back to my country and making up for a dream not followed.

“The thing that contributes to anyone reaching the goal he wants is simply wanting that goal badly enough” Charles E. Wilson.

Editor, Business & Economy